


Free Bucky

by JadeMoon



Series: Bucky's Angel [4]
Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Fighting, Hawaii, Lonely Bucky Barnes, Nightmares, Pissed Off, Rogue Agent, Sparring, angry agent, hula girls, missed loved ones
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-14 06:41:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29166630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JadeMoon/pseuds/JadeMoon
Summary: Why spoil the fun?
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Bucky's Angel [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2118510
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	Free Bucky

Bucky sits quietly in his apartment. He’s still getting used to the idea. Again. It’s been a rough road for him and dealing with his past has been an uphill battle. 

He looks at the new journal he just bought. It’s nice enough looking, soft red leather cover, thick pages, a small ribbon attached inside to hold his place. But it’s not as nice as the one he had before. The one she gave him. The one she had left the sweetest note in. 

SHIELD had taken that from him. Or whoever Sharon Carter was running with when they took he and Steve into custody. They had taken his most prized possession and he has never forgotten it or forgiven them. 

Steve’s tried to get it back, but when SHIELD crumbled things like that got tossed to the wayside. Lost to more important things. 

He clenches his jaw. Maybe it wasn’t important to them, but it’s all he had at the time, his first gift, first personal possession after he broke free from HYDRA. And he misses it.

No. That’s not quite right, he thinks. He misses  _ her _ . 

It doesn’t help that she’s infiltrated his nightmares. Haunting him in the darkness like a vengeful spirit. 

That’s what she is now, isn’t it? A spirit. An ethereal being caught between heaven and hell. It’s his fault, he knows this, knows that he cannot deny this truth. She made the ultimate sacrifice so he could get away. He left her to die at the hands of T’Challa. Too much of a coward to save her. 

He leans forward, pressing his fists into his temples, and closes his eyes. His heart aches so badly it makes his chest hurt. Even with the jagged fragmented memories of his past he knows that he has never been loved as truly or deeply as he was when he was with her. 

He opens the journal and starts to write in it. He writes about her. He writes about his cowardice. He writes about how she haunts his nightmares. 

Then he stops. 

This isn’t right. He doesn’t want to remember her as a vengeful ghost. He wants to remember her as she was before that memory fades entirely. 

He tears the previous pages out, crumples them into a ball, and starts over. Writing about her the way he had in the journal she had given him. 

As he writes tears well up in his eyes as he does his best to recall their short time together. What he would give now to see her again, to hear her voice, to feel her warmth. 

Oh her warmth...how she’d enveloped him in that warmth, held him, loved him. When he was positive he deserved nothing less than the icy hands of death she had been there to embrace him with the sun. 

He puts the journal down and looks at his hands. He let her die. He let his angel die and there is nothing he can do to change that. He is nothing more than a monster.

* * *

“Excuse me?” Fury demands. He looks at Barton like Barton’s gone absolutely fucking mad. 

“She won’t fight. She refuses to train. She won’t take orders. I can’t make this any more clear --”

“Barton,” Fury warns. Barton rolls his eyes and sighs. 

“This is where we’re at,” Barton says flatly. 

“What the hell do we do with her?” Fury asks. It’s a rhetorical question. He’s going to send her back to prison, which is where she wants to be it seems. 

“Sir.”

“Yes, Hill?”

“Might I make a suggestion?” 

Fury and Barton turn their attention to Maria Hill. 

“You’re going about this wrong,” she says brazenly. 

“Oh? Do tell, Agent Hill,” Fury responds. 

“Why did she go rogue, Sir? What sent her over the edge? Possibly the same reason she was in Romania?”

“Barnes,” Fury mutters. Barton cracks up laughing. 

“Maybe she just needs some incentive,” Hill continues. 

“You want us to use Barnes as bait, is that right?” Fury questions. Hill smiles. Fucking women.

“Why not?” Barton asks. 

“From her I’ll take it. Not from you,” Fury snaps, pointing a finger at Barton. “The last thing I need is for one or both of them to try and kill each other.”

“Who says they will?” Barton asks. “She went toe to toe with T’Challa to save him, didn’t she?”

Fury looks at Hill who has that ‘ _ it’s true’ _ look on her face. He shakes his head. This is either going to be a really good idea or it’s going to backfire so goddamn badly…

“How do you propose we bait our rogue, Agent Hill?”

* * *

Bucky looks at the digital clock next to his bed. It’s just after 2 AM. He groans and sits up. Sleep is futile. Even if he could go to sleep, the nightmares would start and he’d be up the rest of the night anyway. 

And as of late the nightmares are always about her. 

It kills him. Slowly eats away at him inside. He refuses to forgive himself for not trying to save her, not going back for her, not doing anything for her. But that’s not the worst of it. No. The worst of it is that he’s terrified he’s forgetting how her touch felt, how her warmth felt, how she smiled, and the stars. God the stars he saw when she smiled, the stars when he came inside her…

He whines. It’s a pained sound, so full of anguish and regret. 

God he misses her. 

* * *

Bucky sits in the living room, nursing a cup of coffee. He’s so goddamn tired he put milk in his coffee and he can’t stand the taste of it. But he refuses to waste it so here he sits trying to drink this dreadful light brown liquid. 

Steve walks in dressed for training. Bucky furrows his brow. 

“What are you doing?” He asks.

“Waiting on you to get dressed. It’s your day to help Clint train,” Steve answers. Bucky has to think about this for a minute.

“No. It’s not my day. It’s Nat’s.”

“Not anymore. Get changed.”

Bucky waits for Steve to tell him it’s a fucking joke, but Steve looks like he’s serious. 

“Fuck,” Bucky mutters and pushes himself off the couch. 

* * *

Clint is in the private holding quarters they’ve been keeping Rayne in. She can’t be trusted not to run if they let her have her own quarters like the others. She made that point when she escaped and he and Nat had to chase her down, drug her AGAIN, and haul her back. Now the daffy girl has a fucking shock chip at the base of her spine so if she tries to run again all they have to do is push a button and she gets juiced enough to knock her out. Probably give her a seizure, too, according to Bruce, but Fury stuck to his guns.

He knocks on the door and gives her a two minute warning before he opens it. When the two minutes are up, he unlocks the door and opens it. Rayne is sitting on her itty bitty cot staring at him, green eyes boring holes into his soul. She smiles venomously.

“You better behave. Don’t make me put the fucking leashes on you again,” he warns. She laughs at him. It gives him chills. He shows her the control key to the chip. She just grins. He motions for her to get up and they walk to the training room.

* * *

Bucky is impatiently waiting on whoever the fuck he’s supposed to be sparring with today. Training, he corrects himself. Whatever. There’s a whole bunch of people in here he can beat up and none of them are his partner. Who are they bringing in? King Fucking Kong? 

That’d be funny.

He gives Steve a cold look. Steve heads over to him and tells him to be patient. Tells him it’ll be worth the wait.

It better be King Kong.

He sees the circle of agents that have been milling around him start to part. Barton has an agent walking backwards towards the center where Bucky is standing. It’s not King Kong and Bucky is pissed off now. It’s some dame. Maybe. He’s learned the hard way not to judge based on the backside of a person. 

Barton doesn’t look any happier. He’s shaking his head no at whoever it is he’s walking in as if warning them not to do anything stupid. 

Being Bucky’s sparring victim was their first mistake, so….

Barton walks the agent into the center of the sparring area and almost directly on top of Bucky. Then Barton barks at the agent to turn around.

Bucky is suddenly face to face with Rayne.

The two just stare at each other, mouths’ hanging open slightly. Bucky pulls himself together, cups Rayne’s face and kisses her. 

Chatter breaks out around the room.

“This is certainly not the sparring anyone expected to see,” Bucky hears Steve remark. 

Bucky steps back from Rayne and smiles at the dazed look on her face. It’s short lived.

“You dumb motherfucker.”

The dazed look is gone.

“Angel?” He’s terrified suddenly. A million horrifying thoughts racing through his mind as to why she suddenly turned on him.

“What the fuck did I risk my life for?!” She yells, fire burning in her green eyes. 

“Rayne...I…”

“You were supposed to be living the good life in fucking Hawaii! Drinking Mai Tais and finger banging girls in grass skirts!”

She’s pacing around him now like an apex predator fucking with her prey. He moves with her, afraid to take his eyes off of her. Afraid that this might be yet another nightmare and if he looks away even for an instant something really, really bad is going to happen. 

He tries to speak but he can’t find the words. There are no stars in her eyes, only the searing flames of Hell.

“Instead here you are yukking it up with these assholes!”

Bucky is only vaguely aware of the sound of other voices in the room with him. He can’t focus on those, though. His angel has turned into a demon right before his eyes. 

“WHAT THE FUCK, BARNES!” She roars. 

“Separate them,” someone orders. Bucky bares his teeth.

“You touch her and I will bury you where you stand,” he snarls. He sees the other agents all take a collective step back away from him. He sees Steve holding Clint and Natasha at bay. He sees Rayne walking away.

“No you don’t,” he growls. He runs up behind her, grabs her, and throws her over his shoulder.

“Barnes! You can’t take her out of here!” Clint yells.

“Fuck off, Barton!” Bucky yells back. 

“Put me the fuck down,” Rayne seethes. 

“No.”

“Put me down or so help me I will kick your fucking ass.”

Her tone is deathly cool and it chills him to his core, but he doesn’t let her go. He can’t. He’s going to take her to his quarters so they can talk in private and if she decides she’s still going to beat the shit out of him he won’t stop her. 

  
  



End file.
